no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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