Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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