Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
