Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
