I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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