what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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