is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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