So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
