She's JV to your varsity
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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