you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
