this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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