i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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