walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
