I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
