Me. At least after what I've been through.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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