this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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