sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
