Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
