I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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