Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
