Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
