Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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