why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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