i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
