walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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