she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
3 2 1 whiskey
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
