The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
