He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize