sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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