oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
40s are totally the cure
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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