I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
