She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
