Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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