; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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