So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
