He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
