yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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