oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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