I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
