I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
