I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
