Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
