What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
