you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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