Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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