Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
