Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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