Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
