thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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