But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
