The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
