Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
