Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
