Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Randomize
