Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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