the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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