You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
