My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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